A Culture of Contradictions? Or a world of possibility…

Tomorrow, I will have lived in my new home, Dhaka, Bangladesh for two weeks. It isn’t an incredibly long amount of time, compared to the span of a life, but 14 days, 336 hours, 20,160 seconds (give or take a few) has quite a lot of potential packed into it’s seeming brevity.

For example, already I have traveled on the nearby river by boat-African Queen style. I have enjoyed some amazingly flavorful and creative foods, including an awesome ice cream place called Cream and Fudge (twice!). I have been pampered with a massage and manicure at two different salons (although to get to the second we walked through/around sewage). I have taught 3 full days of school to a not entirely full year 5 (4th grade) class due to the Muslim holiday Eid finishing and strike days being called for political reasons (thankfully we are in the safest part of the city/country). I have been violently ill with what I am lovingly calling “Banglazuma’s revenge” (local missionaries say the "Deshi dash!") by simply brushing my teeth with the tap water…for the record, I will no longer be stubborn on “getting acclimated” and will humbly return to brushing my pearly whites with boiled water. I have gone shopping at some amazing fair trade shops, ridden in a rickshaw three times, and bought some snacks at the local grocery, Pick N Pay.

But through the experience of being introduced to a new culture, a new language, and a new climate (it is seriously hot and sticky here), I can’t help but laugh at the disparity between what we as Americans would call “normal” and how Bengalis define the word. Here are some new examples of "normal" to tickle your funny bone (and perhaps bring some healthy perspective):

-Americans/westerners are considered strange for 3 reasons that I know of already though I’m sure there are more:

1) We use cutlery to eat our food. Where Americans would say it is a much more sanitary way to eat since our dirty hands don’t touch what we put in our mouth, Bengalis would say WE are dirty because “you don’t know whose mouth has been on that fork!”

2) We use TP in the washroom, whereas Bengalis prefer a teapot-like approach with washing/cleaning since TP (pardon the graphic image) just smears it all around down there…ahem. Hence the cultural expectation of doing everything clean with your right hand and things unclean with your left (though of course there are exceptions to that rule).

3) Bengalis laugh at American men who wear shorts, although the typical outfit for the rickshaw wallahs and those of similar class is a skirt-length piece of fabric that they kind of tie up in a knot around the important regions (also where they keep their rickshaw money…ew). Yesterday I had the unfortunate chance of walking behind a man who decided he was too hot to walk with his clothes falling any lower than his bum region…guess it gets the breeze flowing…yeeeea, and shorts are hilarious.

-Women are not allowed to show any kind of emotion in public, yet men are often seen holding hands (interlaced fingers too), arms around shoulders and lower all in a totally platonic, best-buddy way…seriously, I’m not joking. I saw it happen just yesterday. It’s guuuy love…very bromantical.

-Also, modesty is defined a bit differently here: women must ALWAYS wear an orna, which is essentially a long scarf draped around their neck and/or waist. If she isn't wearing one it's almost like she's naked, and in fact I felt a bit naked today after realizing I had left the house without one! Plus, the bottom part of the shalwar kameez ensemble (3 pieces: top, bottoms, and orna) must cover the ankles as apparently that's what really causes the men to stumble here. In fact my sexy ankles (accidentally) got me moved to the front of the line the other day in Pick N Pay. However, on the other hand, a blouse/top may show as much midriff/back as you like! Not so sure why love handles aren't considered sexy...

-And last but not least, I may never understand the British system of doing school!! Ok, that's not true. I'm feeling much better about things after taking a bit of time to study at least the tip of the Brit's educational iceberg, but let's just say I would definitely appreciate your prayers when it comes to teaching this year. Obviously I would appreciate your prayers in simply adapting to the culture but it's going to be interesting juggling both school-life and Bangla-life!

One last thought to leave you with...no matter where you live, which culture you call yours, or what you call "normal," remember this:

"Above all, you must live as citizens of heaven, conducting yourselves in a manner worthy of the Good News about Christ." -Philippians 1:27

Walking by Faith…through the clouds

“Clouds are the sorrows, sufferings, or providential circumstances, within or without our personal lives, which actually seem to contradict the sovereignty of God. Yet it is through these very clouds that the Spirit of God is teaching us how to walk by faith.” –Oswald Chambers

After arriving in Dhaka, Bangladesh at 12pm, August 2^nd, this was the very first thing I read (that wasn’t in Bangla) and I literally laughed out loud. If you had been in my pocket traveling with me, you would immediately know why. In case you’re wondering, basically everything that could have gone wrong on my trip, did. Our flight left from DC two hours late because of mechanical troubles so instead of being on the plane 13.5 hours, we sat on it for 16. Thankfully I had been given some sleeping pills by my gracious cousins who hosted me in DC for a few days while I sorted out Visa troubles (which is a whole OTHER story) and I also sat next to a very sweet Pakistani woman who made the last few hours go by quickly. Sidenote: I had determined from the very beginning that I would be pleasant and as kind as I could be even if things went wrong and I’m glad to say I stuck to my plan (by the grace of God) because by the time we landed in Abu Dhabi, my flight to Dhaka had already left. Thankfully as I exited the plane there was someone waiting for me with new boarding passes to Dhaka (shout out to Etihad airlines) and so almost immediately I boarded a different plane to Dhaka, via Karachi, Pakistan. And that’s where things got even more interesting. Everyone was shuffled off the plane a couple hours later (the middle of the night at this point, although it was probably daytime in the States…I lost track of the sun and all sense of time) and moved toward immigration. I tried to avoid this by asking at least 5 different “official” people who all looked at my boarding ticket, “listened” to what I was saying and then proceeded to tell me to get in the immigration line…which, if you’re not a frequent international flyer, essentially means you’re committing to staying in that country and you better have papers to prove it (which of course I didn’t!). I was far enough back in the line to not panic, when a nice man came up to me and pointed to my name on a list he had in his hand (fortunately for him I was the only white person in the entire Pakistani airport so I was pretty easy to pick out of a crowd). He then took me to a waiting area where two others were needing the same connecting flight to Dhaka. These Bengalis had also ended up in the mess, to which of course my first response was “Hooray! I’m not alone!” It might be hard to believe that the emotional response was joy and relief at having to wait in an airport for 6 more hours before another flight, but these people ended up being just what I needed to get me through. Our seasonal friendship kept us going up to the end where we all made lost and found reports in the Dhaka airport, because even though our bodies had made it to our connecting flight, (surprise) our bags had not!

Let’s pause the story for just a moment to point out something: there were quite a few “clouds” (as Oswald defined) that I had encountered on this hairy adventure, but I continued to choose not to freak out or cry and scream (even though I was tempted to do all 3) and I know it was by God’s grace that I chose to see each different “cloud” as an opportunity to use for His glory. I obviously don’t know the eternal impact of being kind, making friends, and losing my luggage (temporarily, it’s here now woohoo!), but I do know that through the clouds, God was strengthening my dependence on Him. I didn’t even have clothes to change into when I got to Dhaka, and even though there was a moment where I felt a little lost without my “things,” I knew God had my back and He was with me, and that’s really all that matters, period.

So maybe you're going through something and you're thinking right now "Well, at least I'm not that poor girl!"...then I'm glad to provide some healthy perspective :) Or maybe you are questioning those clouds in your life that seem like they may never lift. Don't worry...God hasn't left you, in fact He's moving in the clouds to make you weaker, so that you depend on Him more strongly than you ever thought possible.  Keep walking with Him!

Ruthless Trust

So it's been a few weeks since I made the decision to (in 5 months) say goodbye to life here in Quito and say hello to a completely exciting and scary new world in Dhaka, Bangladesh. Echoing sentiments from my last post, there have still been definite ups and downs since making the decision, but through the emotions of fear, doubt, and sadness, I have been clinging in trust to my Heavenly Father who works above and beyond anything we can think or imagine. I've also been reading a book by Brennan Manning called Ruthless Trust: The Ragamuffin's Path to God which has been the perfect comfort/challenge in this transition time. One part that expresses in more beautiful words than I ever could, answers the cry of my flesh these past few days...

"The reality of naked trust is the life of a pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious, and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future. Why? Because God has signaled the movement and offered it his presence and his promise."

I am eternally grateful for His presence in this weird limbo-like phase this pilgrim is walking through...I must admit that knowing I'm leaving sure makes me thankful for a good many things about this country and its people. And despite the heartbreak, there truly is joy in the journey if you walk with Jesus - the best pilgrim who ever lived!

Showing Me

This week has been a roller-coaster of emotion. I've been praying and many others have been praying with me (thank you all!) about a decision to move to Bangladesh to teach next year. To back up a little, a year or so ago I started reading a book called Revolution in World Missions by K.P. Yohannan (you can order this book free from Gospel for Asia, K.P.'s organization http://www.gfa.org/offer/freebook/). Through his book and other influences, God has been drawing my heart toward the great need of Asia to experience the Gospel. I know it has to be the Lord pulling me because I've never before been interested in even visiting that part of the world!  And believe me, I know the difference between a call and a travel bug...I'm familiar with and have battled both. So it's hard to believe but this whole process started just over a month ago when I told our director or personnel that I have been feeling a change. It's thanks to her that I found out about Mission Teach.org which helped me connect with Grace (website below)! I am also grateful to supportive friends and family and for the Lord's peace that passes all understanding that He has given me this week as I prayed and fasted for his will. If you'd like to know more, please feel free to write me...it's hard to write when my heart is so full!

Below are some interesting links and a song that has meant a lot to me these last few days. Blessings!

http://www.graceinternationalschool.org/
http://virtualbangladesh.com/


Show Me by Audrey Assad

"You could plant me like a tree beside a river
You could tangle me in soil and let my roots run wild
And I would blossom like a flower in the desert
But for now just let me cry

You could raise me like a banner in a battle
Put victory like fire behind my shining eyes
And I would drift like falling snow over the embers
But for now just let me lie

Bind up these broken bones
Mercy bend and breathe me back to life
But not before You show me how to die

Set me like a star before the morning
Like a song that steals the darkness from a world asleep
And I'll illuminate the path You've laid before me
But for now just let me be

Bind up these broken bones
Mercy bend and breathe me back to life
But not before You show me how to die
Oh, not before You show me how to die

So let me go like a leaf upon the water
Let me brave the wild currents flowing to the sea
And I will disappear into a deeper beauty
But for now just stay with me
God, for now just stay with me."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9b5Snkw18Lg

A New Year

A bit belated and most definitely counter-intuitive New Year's toast:

"May all your expectations be frustrated, may all your plans be thwarted, may all your desires be withered into nothingness, that you may experience the powerlessness and poverty of a child, and sing and dance in the love of God who is Father, Son, and Spirit." -Larry Hein

I was reminded of a recent series our small group studied called Ordinary Radicals put out by the Meeting House Church in Canada (http://www.themeetinghouse.com/teaching/archives/2012/ordinary-radicals/). Pastor Tim's exegesis of the Matthew 5 Beatitudes is powerful teaching: in short, to live an abundant life as Christ followers we must turn over our rights to 1) Possessions 2) Pleasure and 3) Power. Common sense tells us we are vulnerable and helpless and even purposeless without control of important "stuff" in our lives like material goods, financial obligations, entertainment/pleasure, etc. But despite our human misgivings regarding surrender, Christ tells us that his power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Cor. 12:9-10).

So this New Year, I pray that you and I can experience the powerlessness of self and in surrender, the power of Christ to transform our hearts as we learn to sing and dance in the love of our Savior!

Gospel-Humility

In his book The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, Timothy Keller discusses Paul's paradigm shifting concept of judgement vs. Gospel-humility.

1 Corinthians 3:1-4:5
"When [Paul] says that he does not let the Corinthians judge him nor will be he judge himself, he is saying that he knows about his sins but he does not connect them to himself and his identity. His sins and his identity are not connected. He refuses to play that game. He does not see a sin and let it destroy his sense of identity. He will not make a connection. Neither does he see an accomplishment and congratulate himself. He sees all kinds of sins in himself - and all kinds of accomplishments too - but he refuses to connect them with himself or his identity. So, although he knows himself to be the chief of sinners, that fact is not going to stop him from doing the things that he is called to do."

Our society promotes that if we feel bad about ourselves, the solution is to stop caring about what others think and set my own standards to "be myself." However, even in trying to live up to my own standards, I inevitably fail and then I feel bad again because I have fallen into the trap of judging myself, which directly correlates to how I compare myself to others.

I think I can relate to the older brother in the story of the Prodigal Son. Though the older brother remained in the presence of his father, he still was victim to his own pride in looking for praise in his accomplishments and also affirmation in not roaming off and squandering his father's wealth - he was playing the comparison game by judging himself and his brother. And so, in his focus on self, his pride and condemning spirit spoiled the closeness he could have experience with his father.

So here's the mind-wrinkling part: when I try to live up to others standards and my own standards, letting my opinion of myself and even my identity change according to each situation, I will ultimately fail. But when I understand that my identity is in Christ and don't let my actions, good or bad, define who I am, I experience what Keller calls "self-forgetfulness."

"The essence of gospel-humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less....True gospel-humility means I stop connecting every experience, every conversation, with myself. The freedom of self-forgetfulness. The blessed rest that only self-forgetfulness brings."

We're not talking about high or low self-esteem, opinions or self-love/hate, we're talking about a complete trust in who Christ died for me to be - failures, accomplishments and all - to "know nothing but Christ and Him crucified" (1 Cor. 2:2).

Surrender

Oswald Chambers says to "beware of some surrender that you make to God in an ecstatic moment in your life, because you are apt to take it back again (like Peter in John 21). True surrender is a matter of 'being united together [with Jesus] in the likeness of His death (Romans 6:5), until nothing even appeals to you that did not appeal to Him."

I'm realizing that surrender is a daily privilege that challenges the core of my being. It threatens the common sense and logical nature of my humanness, calling out that which is as fundamental and in-born: my spiritual nature. Like waves crashing against the shore, the push and pull of these two forces entice and repulse my will, begging for mastery. And still, will and purpose, hand-in-hand reminders illuminating motive, question my allegiance - to whom/what will I surrender? It's a daily battle, answering this question...influenced by external choices and internal distractions. Sometimes I even forget to ask the question at all.

Today I remember - "So remove your dark deeds like dirty clothes, and put on the shining armor of right living." Romans 13:12

Seek forgiveness, move on and pick up your cross once again.

"Tengo mi cubo de piedra
y el puñado de herramientas.
Mi voluntad lo recojo
como ropa abandonada
desperezo mi costmbre
y otra vez retomo el mundo.

I have a block of stone
and my handful of chisels.
I gather up my will
like abandoned clothes,
shake old habits from their sleep
and once more take up the world."

-Gabriela Mistral, from La Desasila/Woman Unburdened

Rainy Season Haiku

Chills - a paradox:
Hot and cold other-body
In rebellious skin.


This might have inspired an early bedtime complete with hot tea and a certain favorite electric blanket...

Far from Accident

Sonnet 124

"If my dear love were but the child of the state,
It might for Fortune's bastard be unfather'd,
As subject to Time's love or to Time's hate,
Weeds among weeds, or flowers with flowers gather'd.
No, it was builded far from accident;
It suffers not in smiling pomp, nor falls
Under the blow of thralled discontent,
Whereto th' inviting time our fashion calls:
It fears not policy, that heretic,
Which works on leases of short-number'd hours,
But all alone stands hugely politic,
That it nor grows with heat, nor drowns with showers.
To this I witness call the fools of time,
Which die for goodness, who have lived for crime."
                                -William Shakespeare

When reading this sonnet,  I first found the biting criticisms aimed at political systems to be very appropriate as the election is fast approaching. Policy, pomp, fashion, are all subject to Time's love and hate, changing as often as people's whims. In contrast, the lasting Love that is created by design, not by accident, is our eternal hope and good. So this November I'm trusting the Eternal Love to work through/in spite of whichever candidate He allows and I'm holding onto Proverbs 21:1 "The king's heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will." Some may say I'm not doing my civil duty or choosing apathy by not voting, but this time around I can't in good conscience support either candidate, and so not voting is my vote. And for those feeling caught up in the political melee, let Mr. William Shakespeare remind us that while budgets, candidates, and policy are not eternal, our love for our God and for one another IS.

The Pervasive Presence of Christ

Brennan Manning in his book Abba's Child: the Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging, shares what it means to intentionally live in the presence of Jesus Christ:

"Living in the awareness of the risen Jesus is not a trivial pursuit for the bored and lonely or a defense mechanism enabling us to cope with the stress and sorrow of life. It is the key that unlocks the door to grasping the meaning of existence. All day and every day we are being reshaped into the image of Christ. Everything that happens to us is designed to this end. Nothing that exists can exist beyond the pale of His presence ('All things were created through him and for him' - Colossians 1:16), nothing is irrelevant to it, nothing is without significance in it." 

So this begs the question, how aware am I of the risen Christ? Does He fit in to my schedule only if I don't have anything else more "important" to do? Is He only a safety net for times when I need extra comfort or peace? My friends, Jesus Christ is not a means to an end - He is the means and He is the end. How I choose to live in the awareness of his presence affects everything that I am. He is the key, period. Not the key to holiness, not the key to righteousness or joy, He is. I am nothing without Him, and everything I say or do without the blessing and agreement of His presence, is in vain. And each day I live for Him He is shaping me into the precious image of Himself, drawing me closer to the Father.

How aware are you of the risen Christ?

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." -Collosians 3:1-4

There is Joy in the Journey

First of all, if you are not yet familiar with the artist (and in my opinion, poet) Michael Card, let me be the first to recommend one of the most talented and Spirit-filled musicians out there. Yes, Dad, I know I used to make fun of you for listening to "old people" music, but with age comes wisdom *cough cough* and I can now appreciate the Scripture-filled lyrics and soul-nourishing music that I secretly loved growing up (*insert gloating father comment here*). 

This song is called Joy in the Journey and if you're not sure how this message could apply to your life, here's my advice: keep living. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1kMjH6XW5Y

"There is a joy in the journey
There's a light we can love on the way
There is a wonder and wildness to life
And freedom for those who obey

And all those who seek it shall find it
A pardon for all who believe
Hope for the hopeless and sight for the blind

To all who've been born in the Spirit
And who share incarnation with Him
Who belong to eternity stranded in time
And weary of struggling with sin

Forget not the hope that's before you
And never stop counting the cost
Remember the hopelessness when you were lost

There is a joy in the journey
There's a light we can love on the way
There is a wonder and wildness to life
And freedom for those who obey

And freedom for those who obey..." 

Do you long for freedom? Obey the voice of the One who has already paid your debt and wants to bring you joy. He isn't far away - your Savior is close by and if you are struggling with sin, surrender it to Jesus. Ask for His strength to do what you know you should. I am finding there is no other way to fulfilling wonder and wildness to life except through surrender and obedience to Jesus. If you're not sure what all this "freedom for those who obey" stuff means, try it sometime...see what happens.

PB (post blog, not peanut butter) Shout out to Joel Kramer and anyone else who encouraged me to keep writing on this silly thing called the interwebs...I don't feel that I have much to say but maybe our journeys can love the light together, as we travel on our way. 

Juggling

Sometimes it feels like a juggling act when you're going about life, happy to do what you know you need to do, and then something new gets thrown in the mix...and then something else, oh and don't forget about that, and that, and then there's that other thing coming up. These days I feel like I've been tossed some chainsaws. But amidst the seeming chaos and potential crash of this life I'm juggling, the "Ringmaster" hasn't left me to fall.

Though I've never been very good at the real thing (juggling), I'm finding that when I give God the control, somehow I don't lose my grip. Christmas seemed like a whirlwind (and pretty much all first semester for that matter). It was wonderfully refreshing to comfortably be myself with my family in Florida, but it was also a relief to come home, enjoy my roommate, apartment, my friends here, and even my ornery kitties. I am unbelievably blessed by God's provision and how He has used me this year at AAI. It has been wonderful not to come in brand-new and start a position from scratch! Though I am obviously still learning what it means to be an elementary chaplain, a friend, a challenging yet encouraging sister in Christ, a good employee, a good renter, a good sister/daughter, and a good steward, I am thankful for the stretching and even sometimes breaking experiences God has led me through this past year.

Part of that experience has been learning to seek joy despite circumstances, attitudes and extras. Psalm 139 has truly been a comfort and challenge lately. Though I don't know all the ins and outs of what I do and who I am, my Father does, and He goes before me. The other side to that coin, is that He also knows what I do and say and why, before I ever do or say anything. He alone can search me and know my inmost being...confronting me with motives or attitudes I may not consciously be aware of. Through it all, to trust God totally, surrendering everything to Him, is pure joy. The process isn't sunshine and rainbows, but the joy in the journey means everything.

A thought to chew on:
"Love Him totally who gave Himself totally for your love." -St. Clare of Assissi

It's good to be "home"

The concept of "home" is turning into a more dynamic concept than I ever could have thought.

I've been doing a lot of travelling the last 2 weeks I've been in the States. I flew in from Quito and almost immediately set out to visit Hillary and Ian in Illinois (thanks Mom and Dad for letting me borrow your car). We had a really great time taking a day trip to Chicago, shopping at half-price bookstores, and just being together. It was good to be with my twin/family and to also see some wonderful friends from college who came to spend the 4th with us. On my way back to WV I stopped by a friend's house to spend time with her and her family and it was good to be together again. After being home for less than 24 hours, I set off for Southern Ohio (where I grew up) to speak at my church the next morning. I spent the night with a friend from high school and her crazy/wonderful family who had just finished cleaning up after their son's wedding. I loved seeing a lot of friends (who are more like family) from growing up. The next morning I spoke at the church I spent most of my life in and after service, caught up with my church family and went to eat Mexican food with friends. On the way back to WV, I called some friends because I was thinking about them, and incidentally they had been thinking about me too so I went over for dinner and didn't get back to the house until 10 that night.

Needless to say, I've been wonderfully busy since coming home. But where is home? Can it be defined by a building? A house or church, a city or state? Home isn't a location or a zip code. Home is where my family is, no matter what state they currently live in. Home is where my friends are, no matter how far apart or close they are. Home is community: a body of believers worshipping and loving with the same Spirit. I do feel at home when I look up and see the WV foothills and when I drive down curvy windy roads, but mostly I feel at home when I am with the people I love.

Thank you, family and friends for the home you have created for me, no matter where you are. You will always be my home. Thank you, Heavenly Father for always being my one true Home, no matter where I go, no matter where I lay my head, you are my eternal Home.

Half-Way

Celebrated my half-birthday a few days ago. Half-way through the school year. Half-way between disillusionment and contentment.



In case you didn't know, living abroad (and, similarly, culture shock) can be categorized into typical stages. The first stage is called the "honeymoon" stage: everything has the illusion of being wonderful, beautiful, perfect. The second stage is "withdrawal" and that's when disillusionment - hand-in-hand with that steadfast companion, Reality - sets in.

Thankfully, I've been here before. I have experienced these feelings before. I know what it measn to work through them, to confront them. No, life isn't perfect, nor is every situation I find myself a part of (not to mention by blogging consistency), but I am living in a beautiful country with beautiful people with a beautiful purpose. And my friends are helping me to know the way. It's a process of surrender.

So I've been reading Mother Teresa lately and for the record, her words are not light reading. If you want to be totally uncomfortable yet comforted and challenged at the same time, you probably should read her book No Greater Love. She speaks of trust and surrender as a radical yet essential part of truly following Christ:

"The path of loving trust means: total reliance on our Heavenly Father with the spontaneous abandonment of little children, totally convinced of our utter nothingness but trusting to the point of rashness with courageous confidence in His fatherly goodness."

"This is total surrender - no to be loved by anybody, not to be wanted by anybody, just to be a nobody because we have given all to Christ."

A promise I'm clinging to when I'm tempted to sway with the desires of others and even self:

1 Thessalonians 2:4 (NLT) "For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts."

There is no half-way to surrender. I cannot please God when I am trying to please people. I cannot please God when I want to be "somebody." Partially relying on God doesn't even partially work. I want to completley abandon myself with courageous confidence like the children I am leading.

Now I know more than I did in the beginning. Now I have an even greater opportunity for extending love and grace into this beautifuly messy community.

It's almost Christmas!

And I'm so ready to go home and share with my family and frirends what I have experienced!

A lot has happened in the last few months I have been here and sometimes it's hard for me to express in writing. So please forgive me once again for failing to update as often as I (and you too hopefully!) would like.

Spiritual Emphasis Week is basically a mini-revival involving special speakers who come and have a sort of chapel time every day for grades PreK-6 (in 3 different sections). Our speakers this year were excellent! They came prepared with materials and relevant messages and most importantly they developed relationships with the students. It was a wonderful time of worship and comittment and the kids still remind me about what was taught and sung! Below is PJ (our main speaker) painting faces at the Alliance Harvest Festival that was put on the Saturday after SEW.

For our four-day weekend which was a result of Ecuadorian holidays, I and a group of friends travelled north to Same and stayed at a beautiful resort called Casablanca. It was a refreshing, relaxing, and wonderful time getting to know people and enjoying the sand and sun.

The view from our balcony (ocean to the right).

Spirit Week was an interesting animal...I was asked to be involved in the planning which was primarily done by the secondary chaplain's office (which was a good bonding/growing time for us) and which amazingly turned out pretty well in the end! The high school teamed up with the elementary (12/1, 11/2, 10/3, etc.) and every day at 3 we would gather in the gym for a competition and on Thurday (Thanksgiving Day) we had an Amazing Race all around the school grounds! It was a lot of fun and the highschoolers really proved that they could take care of their little buddies (we used the buddy system which was the best idea of the whole week).

Thanksgiving was a great experience. I wasn't sure at first how it was going to be being away from family for the first time but basically I was adopted into another family and it was wonderful! I made corn pudding/casserole which went over really well and let me just say that that turkey was the best I have every eaten (it soaked in brine for a few hours). I was glad I chose to be a part of the Saavedra family & Co.!

The one thing I am truly thankful for here is the gift of friends. God has gifted me with very special people that I feel comfortable sharing my heart with. I am held accountable and encouraged by their love and support and I am so thankful He has shown me what true friendship looks like in a place so far from home.

He has also shown me what it means to my church community with my gifts and I am also thankful for that.

Some prayer requests: that I would persevere and not grow tired in these last couple weeks before break. As the AWANA director I definitely need prayers for peace and wisdom. As dorm assistant I am in a position of leadership and responsibility and therefore need grace, love, patience, and wisdom to extend to the girls and guys I live with.

Thank you for reading and sharing life together and thank you most of all for your prayers.

So it's been a while...

I definitely had doubts about creating a blog because I'm much more of a one-on-one conversationalist, and my fears were confirmed when I realized that I haven't blogged in more than a month...ahh well. Here's a synopsis of what's been going on in life lately:

God has been teaching me a lot about what it means to be a part of the Church (the capital "c" is intentional). Knowing that I would be living here for at least a year, I wanted to get plugged into a church where I could feel welcomed, served, and fed. However, after more than a few frustrating weeks, the Lord challenged my expectations of what church "should be." I had tried a lot of places but none of them really "fit" and I was finding myself either getting bored or extremely angry which completely confusing to me. With a little help from Don Miller, I finally realized that I was approaching church like I would a vending machine, and even more specifically, like money. If I thought a church or a group of people was worth my time, I would "pay" or "spend" myself and my time in that place. If I didn't think a church/people was "worth the investment" I would "withdraw" myself and leave.

The problem with this kind of thinking is that it is completely opposite of what Christ teaches (not to mention pretty selfish). We are not called to be served, but to serve. I may never find "the perfect church..." probably because the Church itself is not perfect. We are the body of Christ but we are made up of humans struggling to do what pleases God while trying to please man which is a tension that will always be present. Obeying what God asks of me and serving rather than expecting to be served is how Christ empowers me to live with that tension. And so even though I was feeling angry and frustrated, I obeyed the Lord's leading and signed the "I'm interested in serving in the church musically" sheet (I don't think that's what it was officially called) and since then I have felt a peace and joy that passes all understanding while worshipping the Lord as a member of His Church. I am excited to see how God will use the gifts and talents He has given me for His glory!

Other tidbits:
I recently took a trip to Mindo which is about 2 hours north of Quito in the cloud forests of Ecuador and our dorm family had a wonderful time! We hiked to waterfalls, visited a butterfly farm, and ziplined over the jungle canopy...basically just relaxing away from the noise of the city.

Developing meaningful friendships has been a wonderful blessing. One of my great hopes was to come and enjoy authentic community at AAI and the Lord has certainly made that possible!

As for my job, I am feeling more and more comfortable with who/what I am to the elementary students and teachers. At first I wasn't quite sure what to expect or how to go about doing the chaplaincly position (since it's never been done before) but recently I've been able to spend time in individual classrooms building relationship with students and for the first time this week I had a student come to my office where we just sat and talked. I am definitely feeling the Lord's blessing on my position as chaplain. As for the music portion of chapels, I have been struggling a little with what exactly the kids most benefit from...should I stand in front and lead or just let the CD/words lead? Should I have fast or slow songs...how long is too long...a lot of questions that I think experience will help answer but until then, I am so pleased with the chapel speakers!! I could not have done what they do and so I'm so thankful we have the teacher rotation system in place (even if it isn't everyone's favorite).

So I guess that's the long and short of it for now...I'm glad I could share what God is doing here in Quito!

And please feel free to look at my Facebook photo albums and videos!

Blessings,
Lauren

I can't believe I've been here a month (almost)

So time flies when you're having fun and exploring a new country and making new friends...I've loved this mini-vacation. I didn't realized that I would have 4 weeks of freedom when I scheduled my flight originally, but thanks to the Ecuadorian government, our school start date was moved to Sept. 7 so here I am just 3 days away from reality and I am glad to say I think I'm ready.

No lesson plans done for 6th grade Bible (I start teaching the 2nd week) and still not so sure about what I'll be doing for the three 45-minute chapels next Thursday, but even though I have tiny freak-out moments, I keep remembering God's grace is sufficient for me for His power is made perfect in my weakness!

Good news: the dorm kids just got here and they're wonderful! I know I'm going to enjoy getting to know them and besides that, I'm just happy to have company on my floor! The girls's side has been pretty lonely up until now.

Well I'm late for dinner...I'll try to do some more later:)




We climbed a nearby mountain called Ilalo.




We also visited the botanical gardens in Quito.





The view from my roof!






The dorm lounge.

My beautiful bedroom.

Visit Facebook for a lot more pictures!

A simple prayer/song

I was traveling to a church to speak about Ecuador and this song came on...I don't know when a song has been more moving or appropriate for my life.

The Hammer Holds by Bebo Norman

A shapeless piece of steel, that's all I claim to be
This hammer pounds to give me form, this flame, it melts my dreams
I glow with fire and fury, as I'm twisted like a vine
My final shape, my final form I'm sure I'm bound to find

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the flames
And hurt a little, hurt for me my future is untold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

And the water, it cools me gray, and the hurt's subdued somehow
I have my shape, this sharpened point, what is my purpose now?
And the question still remains, what am I to be?
Perhaps some perfect piece of art displayed for all to see

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the flames
And hurt a little, hurt for me my future is untold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

The hammer pounds again, but flames I do not feel
This force that drives me, helplessly, through flesh, and wood reveals
A burn that burns much deeper, it's more than I can stand
The reason for my life was to take the life of a guiltless man

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the pain
And hurt a little, hurt for me, my future is so bold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

This task before me may seem unclear
But it, my maker holds

I just don't know what to doooo with myself

Hmmm my first blog ever...
The Ecuaventure is rapidly approaching and I really wish I knew how to deal with moving to another country but I don't so I guess I'll continue to live life a day at a time, trusting the Lord with the details (including emotions and expectations).
I did find out that the start date for classes has been moved to September the 7 whereas my flight is scheduled for August 10 so I think I'm going to have a little extra time for adjusting, getting acclimated, making new friends and spending time with old ones!
I do know: I am excited and I am expecting God to do great things.
There, how's that for a first blog?