I definitely had doubts about creating a blog because I'm much more of a one-on-one conversationalist, and my fears were confirmed when I realized that I haven't blogged in more than a month...ahh well. Here's a synopsis of what's been going on in life lately:
God has been teaching me a lot about what it means to be a part of the Church (the capital "c" is intentional). Knowing that I would be living here for at least a year, I wanted to get plugged into a church where I could feel welcomed, served, and fed. However, after more than a few frustrating weeks, the Lord challenged my expectations of what church "should be." I had tried a lot of places but none of them really "fit" and I was finding myself either getting bored or extremely angry which completely confusing to me. With a little help from Don Miller, I finally realized that I was approaching church like I would a vending machine, and even more specifically, like money. If I thought a church or a group of people was worth my time, I would "pay" or "spend" myself and my time in that place. If I didn't think a church/people was "worth the investment" I would "withdraw" myself and leave.
The problem with this kind of thinking is that it is completely opposite of what Christ teaches (not to mention pretty selfish). We are not called to be served, but to serve. I may never find "the perfect church..." probably because the Church itself is not perfect. We are the body of Christ but we are made up of humans struggling to do what pleases God while trying to please man which is a tension that will always be present. Obeying what God asks of me and serving rather than expecting to be served is how Christ empowers me to live with that tension. And so even though I was feeling angry and frustrated, I obeyed the Lord's leading and signed the "I'm interested in serving in the church musically" sheet (I don't think that's what it was officially called) and since then I have felt a peace and joy that passes all understanding while worshipping the Lord as a member of His Church. I am excited to see how God will use the gifts and talents He has given me for His glory!
Other tidbits:
I recently took a trip to Mindo which is about 2 hours north of Quito in the cloud forests of Ecuador and our dorm family had a wonderful time! We hiked to waterfalls, visited a butterfly farm, and ziplined over the jungle canopy...basically just relaxing away from the noise of the city.
Developing meaningful friendships has been a wonderful blessing. One of my great hopes was to come and enjoy authentic community at AAI and the Lord has certainly made that possible!
As for my job, I am feeling more and more comfortable with who/what I am to the elementary students and teachers. At first I wasn't quite sure what to expect or how to go about doing the chaplaincly position (since it's never been done before) but recently I've been able to spend time in individual classrooms building relationship with students and for the first time this week I had a student come to my office where we just sat and talked. I am definitely feeling the Lord's blessing on my position as chaplain. As for the music portion of chapels, I have been struggling a little with what exactly the kids most benefit from...should I stand in front and lead or just let the CD/words lead? Should I have fast or slow songs...how long is too long...a lot of questions that I think experience will help answer but until then, I am so pleased with the chapel speakers!! I could not have done what they do and so I'm so thankful we have the teacher rotation system in place (even if it isn't everyone's favorite).
So I guess that's the long and short of it for now...I'm glad I could share what God is doing here in Quito!
And please feel free to look at my Facebook photo albums and videos!
Blessings,
Lauren
