Gospel-Humility

In his book The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, Timothy Keller discusses Paul's paradigm shifting concept of judgement vs. Gospel-humility.

1 Corinthians 3:1-4:5
"When [Paul] says that he does not let the Corinthians judge him nor will be he judge himself, he is saying that he knows about his sins but he does not connect them to himself and his identity. His sins and his identity are not connected. He refuses to play that game. He does not see a sin and let it destroy his sense of identity. He will not make a connection. Neither does he see an accomplishment and congratulate himself. He sees all kinds of sins in himself - and all kinds of accomplishments too - but he refuses to connect them with himself or his identity. So, although he knows himself to be the chief of sinners, that fact is not going to stop him from doing the things that he is called to do."

Our society promotes that if we feel bad about ourselves, the solution is to stop caring about what others think and set my own standards to "be myself." However, even in trying to live up to my own standards, I inevitably fail and then I feel bad again because I have fallen into the trap of judging myself, which directly correlates to how I compare myself to others.

I think I can relate to the older brother in the story of the Prodigal Son. Though the older brother remained in the presence of his father, he still was victim to his own pride in looking for praise in his accomplishments and also affirmation in not roaming off and squandering his father's wealth - he was playing the comparison game by judging himself and his brother. And so, in his focus on self, his pride and condemning spirit spoiled the closeness he could have experience with his father.

So here's the mind-wrinkling part: when I try to live up to others standards and my own standards, letting my opinion of myself and even my identity change according to each situation, I will ultimately fail. But when I understand that my identity is in Christ and don't let my actions, good or bad, define who I am, I experience what Keller calls "self-forgetfulness."

"The essence of gospel-humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less....True gospel-humility means I stop connecting every experience, every conversation, with myself. The freedom of self-forgetfulness. The blessed rest that only self-forgetfulness brings."

We're not talking about high or low self-esteem, opinions or self-love/hate, we're talking about a complete trust in who Christ died for me to be - failures, accomplishments and all - to "know nothing but Christ and Him crucified" (1 Cor. 2:2).

Surrender

Oswald Chambers says to "beware of some surrender that you make to God in an ecstatic moment in your life, because you are apt to take it back again (like Peter in John 21). True surrender is a matter of 'being united together [with Jesus] in the likeness of His death (Romans 6:5), until nothing even appeals to you that did not appeal to Him."

I'm realizing that surrender is a daily privilege that challenges the core of my being. It threatens the common sense and logical nature of my humanness, calling out that which is as fundamental and in-born: my spiritual nature. Like waves crashing against the shore, the push and pull of these two forces entice and repulse my will, begging for mastery. And still, will and purpose, hand-in-hand reminders illuminating motive, question my allegiance - to whom/what will I surrender? It's a daily battle, answering this question...influenced by external choices and internal distractions. Sometimes I even forget to ask the question at all.

Today I remember - "So remove your dark deeds like dirty clothes, and put on the shining armor of right living." Romans 13:12

Seek forgiveness, move on and pick up your cross once again.

"Tengo mi cubo de piedra
y el puñado de herramientas.
Mi voluntad lo recojo
como ropa abandonada
desperezo mi costmbre
y otra vez retomo el mundo.

I have a block of stone
and my handful of chisels.
I gather up my will
like abandoned clothes,
shake old habits from their sleep
and once more take up the world."

-Gabriela Mistral, from La Desasila/Woman Unburdened

Rainy Season Haiku

Chills - a paradox:
Hot and cold other-body
In rebellious skin.


This might have inspired an early bedtime complete with hot tea and a certain favorite electric blanket...

Far from Accident

Sonnet 124

"If my dear love were but the child of the state,
It might for Fortune's bastard be unfather'd,
As subject to Time's love or to Time's hate,
Weeds among weeds, or flowers with flowers gather'd.
No, it was builded far from accident;
It suffers not in smiling pomp, nor falls
Under the blow of thralled discontent,
Whereto th' inviting time our fashion calls:
It fears not policy, that heretic,
Which works on leases of short-number'd hours,
But all alone stands hugely politic,
That it nor grows with heat, nor drowns with showers.
To this I witness call the fools of time,
Which die for goodness, who have lived for crime."
                                -William Shakespeare

When reading this sonnet,  I first found the biting criticisms aimed at political systems to be very appropriate as the election is fast approaching. Policy, pomp, fashion, are all subject to Time's love and hate, changing as often as people's whims. In contrast, the lasting Love that is created by design, not by accident, is our eternal hope and good. So this November I'm trusting the Eternal Love to work through/in spite of whichever candidate He allows and I'm holding onto Proverbs 21:1 "The king's heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will." Some may say I'm not doing my civil duty or choosing apathy by not voting, but this time around I can't in good conscience support either candidate, and so not voting is my vote. And for those feeling caught up in the political melee, let Mr. William Shakespeare remind us that while budgets, candidates, and policy are not eternal, our love for our God and for one another IS.

The Pervasive Presence of Christ

Brennan Manning in his book Abba's Child: the Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging, shares what it means to intentionally live in the presence of Jesus Christ:

"Living in the awareness of the risen Jesus is not a trivial pursuit for the bored and lonely or a defense mechanism enabling us to cope with the stress and sorrow of life. It is the key that unlocks the door to grasping the meaning of existence. All day and every day we are being reshaped into the image of Christ. Everything that happens to us is designed to this end. Nothing that exists can exist beyond the pale of His presence ('All things were created through him and for him' - Colossians 1:16), nothing is irrelevant to it, nothing is without significance in it." 

So this begs the question, how aware am I of the risen Christ? Does He fit in to my schedule only if I don't have anything else more "important" to do? Is He only a safety net for times when I need extra comfort or peace? My friends, Jesus Christ is not a means to an end - He is the means and He is the end. How I choose to live in the awareness of his presence affects everything that I am. He is the key, period. Not the key to holiness, not the key to righteousness or joy, He is. I am nothing without Him, and everything I say or do without the blessing and agreement of His presence, is in vain. And each day I live for Him He is shaping me into the precious image of Himself, drawing me closer to the Father.

How aware are you of the risen Christ?

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." -Collosians 3:1-4

There is Joy in the Journey

First of all, if you are not yet familiar with the artist (and in my opinion, poet) Michael Card, let me be the first to recommend one of the most talented and Spirit-filled musicians out there. Yes, Dad, I know I used to make fun of you for listening to "old people" music, but with age comes wisdom *cough cough* and I can now appreciate the Scripture-filled lyrics and soul-nourishing music that I secretly loved growing up (*insert gloating father comment here*). 

This song is called Joy in the Journey and if you're not sure how this message could apply to your life, here's my advice: keep living. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1kMjH6XW5Y

"There is a joy in the journey
There's a light we can love on the way
There is a wonder and wildness to life
And freedom for those who obey

And all those who seek it shall find it
A pardon for all who believe
Hope for the hopeless and sight for the blind

To all who've been born in the Spirit
And who share incarnation with Him
Who belong to eternity stranded in time
And weary of struggling with sin

Forget not the hope that's before you
And never stop counting the cost
Remember the hopelessness when you were lost

There is a joy in the journey
There's a light we can love on the way
There is a wonder and wildness to life
And freedom for those who obey

And freedom for those who obey..." 

Do you long for freedom? Obey the voice of the One who has already paid your debt and wants to bring you joy. He isn't far away - your Savior is close by and if you are struggling with sin, surrender it to Jesus. Ask for His strength to do what you know you should. I am finding there is no other way to fulfilling wonder and wildness to life except through surrender and obedience to Jesus. If you're not sure what all this "freedom for those who obey" stuff means, try it sometime...see what happens.

PB (post blog, not peanut butter) Shout out to Joel Kramer and anyone else who encouraged me to keep writing on this silly thing called the interwebs...I don't feel that I have much to say but maybe our journeys can love the light together, as we travel on our way.