In case you didn't know, living abroad (and, similarly, culture shock) can be categorized into typical stages. The first stage is called the "honeymoon" stage: everything has the illusion of being wonderful, beautiful, perfect. The second stage is "withdrawal" and that's when disillusionment - hand-in-hand with that steadfast companion, Reality - sets in.
Thankfully, I've been here before. I have experienced these feelings before. I know what it measn to work through them, to confront them. No, life isn't perfect, nor is every situation I find myself a part of (not to mention by blogging consistency), but I am living in a beautiful country with beautiful people with a beautiful purpose. And my friends are helping me to know the way. It's a process of surrender.
So I've been reading Mother Teresa lately and for the record, her words are not light reading. If you want to be totally uncomfortable yet comforted and challenged at the same time, you probably should read her book No Greater Love. She speaks of trust and surrender as a radical yet essential part of truly following Christ:
"The path of loving trust means: total reliance on our Heavenly Father with the spontaneous abandonment of little children, totally convinced of our utter nothingness but trusting to the point of rashness with courageous confidence in His fatherly goodness."
"This is total surrender - no to be loved by anybody, not to be wanted by anybody, just to be a nobody because we have given all to Christ."
A promise I'm clinging to when I'm tempted to sway with the desires of others and even self:
1 Thessalonians 2:4 (NLT) "For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts."
There is no half-way to surrender. I cannot please God when I am trying to please people. I cannot please God when I want to be "somebody." Partially relying on God doesn't even partially work. I want to completley abandon myself with courageous confidence like the children I am leading.
Now I know more than I did in the beginning. Now I have an even greater opportunity for extending love and grace into this beautifuly messy community.
