Gospel-Humility

In his book The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, Timothy Keller discusses Paul's paradigm shifting concept of judgement vs. Gospel-humility.

1 Corinthians 3:1-4:5
"When [Paul] says that he does not let the Corinthians judge him nor will be he judge himself, he is saying that he knows about his sins but he does not connect them to himself and his identity. His sins and his identity are not connected. He refuses to play that game. He does not see a sin and let it destroy his sense of identity. He will not make a connection. Neither does he see an accomplishment and congratulate himself. He sees all kinds of sins in himself - and all kinds of accomplishments too - but he refuses to connect them with himself or his identity. So, although he knows himself to be the chief of sinners, that fact is not going to stop him from doing the things that he is called to do."

Our society promotes that if we feel bad about ourselves, the solution is to stop caring about what others think and set my own standards to "be myself." However, even in trying to live up to my own standards, I inevitably fail and then I feel bad again because I have fallen into the trap of judging myself, which directly correlates to how I compare myself to others.

I think I can relate to the older brother in the story of the Prodigal Son. Though the older brother remained in the presence of his father, he still was victim to his own pride in looking for praise in his accomplishments and also affirmation in not roaming off and squandering his father's wealth - he was playing the comparison game by judging himself and his brother. And so, in his focus on self, his pride and condemning spirit spoiled the closeness he could have experience with his father.

So here's the mind-wrinkling part: when I try to live up to others standards and my own standards, letting my opinion of myself and even my identity change according to each situation, I will ultimately fail. But when I understand that my identity is in Christ and don't let my actions, good or bad, define who I am, I experience what Keller calls "self-forgetfulness."

"The essence of gospel-humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less....True gospel-humility means I stop connecting every experience, every conversation, with myself. The freedom of self-forgetfulness. The blessed rest that only self-forgetfulness brings."

We're not talking about high or low self-esteem, opinions or self-love/hate, we're talking about a complete trust in who Christ died for me to be - failures, accomplishments and all - to "know nothing but Christ and Him crucified" (1 Cor. 2:2).