Surrender

Oswald Chambers says to "beware of some surrender that you make to God in an ecstatic moment in your life, because you are apt to take it back again (like Peter in John 21). True surrender is a matter of 'being united together [with Jesus] in the likeness of His death (Romans 6:5), until nothing even appeals to you that did not appeal to Him."

I'm realizing that surrender is a daily privilege that challenges the core of my being. It threatens the common sense and logical nature of my humanness, calling out that which is as fundamental and in-born: my spiritual nature. Like waves crashing against the shore, the push and pull of these two forces entice and repulse my will, begging for mastery. And still, will and purpose, hand-in-hand reminders illuminating motive, question my allegiance - to whom/what will I surrender? It's a daily battle, answering this question...influenced by external choices and internal distractions. Sometimes I even forget to ask the question at all.

Today I remember - "So remove your dark deeds like dirty clothes, and put on the shining armor of right living." Romans 13:12

Seek forgiveness, move on and pick up your cross once again.

"Tengo mi cubo de piedra
y el puñado de herramientas.
Mi voluntad lo recojo
como ropa abandonada
desperezo mi costmbre
y otra vez retomo el mundo.

I have a block of stone
and my handful of chisels.
I gather up my will
like abandoned clothes,
shake old habits from their sleep
and once more take up the world."

-Gabriela Mistral, from La Desasila/Woman Unburdened